The trial is always destructive. How many couples destroy each other by exchanging harsh truths or subtle mockery! When we think about it, we understand how the fear of being judged impoverishes humanity and their relationships. It is the source of all conformism that even men and close in their behaviors impersonal. Watch for a girl who got engaged and is now blossoming. What happened? Sure, it's the miracle of love and happiness. But something else also happens. She met a man who did not criticize. Until that moment, she too was silent while his sister was too talkative. The sister was the pride of parents for their successes by the school and its display of erudition. But she was treated like a fool, because she hated school and would not even finish high school. So she always thought, opening his mouth, he would betray his lack of culture by saying something ridiculous. Now, suddenly, with her boyfriend, she dares to say everything that comes into their head and he exclaims: "You know, you're very smart!" Even if she says something silly, he finds this appealing, original, naive. He is extraordinary, a man is so polite! She tells a thousand memories of childhood that never dared mention, for fear that mocked her. He finds it interesting. He understands it so well! She can even tell you bad memories, of which it is not proud, and he thinks they were not so serious. He also confesses that made things worse than this. He is really an extraordinary humility that puts all at ease. By knowing it, she feels more valued. She can embrace the world, and start to pray, which was not long ago. There are also memories of which she is proud, not of them spoke to their parents because they would say, "You're proud, you should be ashamed." And then her husband exclaims, "It is magnificent! You're a wonderful woman." Seeing the wonderful flowering that a person can experience when surrounded by love and confidence, when no longer feels judged, we can measure the power of stifling criticism of others.
Sometimes I think if there really is constructive criticism. The criticism is an analysis before anything. But this analysis is usually done in a cursory manner and highlights the most errors of the successes of others. We are yet to experience a life without judging. While the look of each is directed toward understanding. Many couples can right now to lose by putting everything in their lives for a hasty trial, by an unfounded thought, by an insecurity that can be caused by a trial in itself based on a belief that this trial is the trial that make us as individuals. Few people know but a happy marriage is one that is free of judgments and accusations, even those charges that are within our hearts and we never had the guts to say.
Do not judge according to appearance, but judge righteously. John 7:24